“You get a strange feeling when you leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love, but you miss the person you are at this time and place because you’ll never be this way ever again.”
I grew up as the daughter of a woman employed by the military. As a result, about every four years my family would be forced to pack up their lives and move to a new place full of new people, but it also paved way for a new us. My most recent move was from Southern California to Washington DC and it was terrible. I remember it all so clearly that it still hurts to think about.
My life was amazing when I lived there. I had friends that loved and cared for me, the weather was always perfect, and I lived within walking distance of the beach. My life couldn’t have gotten any better, and I didn’t expect it to because I truly loved it. I was happy. I was always happy. I’d hang out with my friends more, go to school sports’ events, and be invested in the church I attended with every chance that I got.
I remember when I left. I remember spending my last day enjoying the beach with one of my best friends and then going to dinner and a movie with another. I remember that it was my birthday. I remember that I had to say goodbye to everything I could ever want that night.
I’m not one to cry. In fact, I hate the act of crying. But I moved here and within the first week, I was in tears. It was the type of crying that really didn’t come from anywhere. It was just so much built up pain, anger, and sorrow that all arose at that one moment and exited in the form of tears… I haven’t been the same since.
I look at the world differently than I used to, I’m rarely as happy, and I don’t spend time with other people in the way I did. I’ve learned not to get attached to people. I’ve learned that people don’t miss you, no matter how much you miss them. I’ve learned that no one is going to be there for you when everything crumples, so pick yourself up and clean up the pieces alone.
I’m stronger now than I have ever been, and I’m glad about it; I just wish I hadn’t gone through a living hell to gain it. So yeah, I miss the beautiful place I lived, the people I knew, and the times we had, but the one person I miss the most is the person I was before.